There are few more effective ways of wasting time than football management computer games. Back in the day, the only thing that could drag you away from a Championship Manager session were totally unavoidable life supporting activities such as going to work, fleeing a burning building or answering the call of nature.
Now, with the advent of mobile telephones these irritating distractions are no longer a barrier to your domination of Europe with Dagenham and Redbridge.
Retro Football Management
Retro Football Management by Coast Gaming Ltd is a mobile app that offers a 90s style football management experience for free (bar optional in app purchases). It appears to have taken inspiration from the seminal 90s masterpiece Championship Manager.
You can choose from a range of current or historic seasons stretching back as far as the 1950s, and the player names are correct, there’s no Euan Greggs or Crude von Mistleroi’s in this game.
It’s basic, there’s limited tactical gameplay here, you won’t be tweaking your Christmas tree formation to “exploit the space between the lines” or anything like that. If you want to park the bus you can select more defenders while picking your team, but players don’t have detailed positions; there’s no full backs, centre backs or wing backs in this game, they’re all just defenders.
New Manager Bounce
There’s also more than a gentle wiff of randomness about the results and sometimes you get the feeling that the basic tactical options give you limited control over outcomes. As a manager you can only really dabble in the transfer market, pick your team and then just sit back and hope for the best.
At its core it’s about keeping your bank account out of the red, having a balanced squad and meeting the demands of your success hungry bosses. In fact, you can’t kick off a game with a negative bank balance (if this was the case in the real world Match of the Day would be shorter than a party political broadcast and about as interesting).
Billionaires Play Thing
Just as it is with the beautiful game itself, you can shamelessly buy your way to the top. This kind of financial foul play can be achieved by wasting even more precious time watching soul destroying adverts that earn you a whopping £1,000,000 a watch.
If you’re even less of a one for ‘putting in the hard yards’ you can make one off purchases such as buying famous players from years gone by or adding extra seats to your stadium. For example, if you’re particularly well off you have the option to spanner 15 of your real life hard earned pounds on Diego Maradona.
If like us you’re a cheapskate, or you want to beat the plastic money boys with a team of under-the-radar, journeymen misfits then you’re going to have to spend some time poring over the transfer market, but don’t let your head get turned, dealing fast and loose is going to cost you dearly. Highly skilled legends nearing the end of their careers may be tempting and will help your team, but these guys don’t come cheap, their wages will soon send your bank balance tumbling into the red.
Casual Time Wasting
The game is basic, but is a little deeper than it first looks. The constant battle to balance the books whilst achieving the demands of the merciless board is a good fun.
It’s definitely worth downloading to your telephone but, be warned, it could be a gateway to harder football manager games. Lose control and you could soon find yourself firing up your emulator and, once again, staring blankly at Championship Manager at 4 in the morning while your real life collapse around you.
You’ve been warned.
